Every May, on the second Sunday, we stop to remember the mothers in our lives. The modern Mother’s Day was started in 1908, and in 1914 President Wilson made it an official holiday.
This year I am helping my children celebrate my wife. Celebrating her can look different depending on her schedule, but we pause to say thank you. Some years we get to have lunch at home and others we visit the hospital and try to steal five minutes for lunch in the break room.
Mother’s Day should be happy, but it reminds me that I lost my mom. I was a momma’s boy, and we had a great relationship. She was my biggest cheerleader and defender. My childhood was good, and even as an adult I spoke to her almost daily while driving home from work. She was a great listener.
It is hard for me to talk about her. When I stop to share a memory, it brings back emotions I would rather push aside. Compartmentalize and forget has been my unhealthy approach to dealing with her passing. I don’t think that I actually took the appropriate time or steps to mourn her. I jumped into funeral planning and making sure everyone else was doing ok. I have my regrets and wish she had more time to see my children. She would have spoiled them, bought them toys they didn’t need and would be telling me what I could do better. They would have loved every minute with her. If she were still here, I can only imagine the rants I would be posting to Facebook about how she was driving me crazy.
My wife does a great job talking to my son about his grandmother, and sometimes he tells me stories that I don’t remember. He wants to know why or how she died. I will talk about her heart stopping and then he will add that her lungs were sick too. He is a smart kid and remembers everything. My mom would be really proud of him. I am thankful my mom had a year and few months to spend with my son. I really wish she was still here to meet my daughter, who shares her name, and our third child arriving later this year.
I know Mother’s Day looks different for everyone, and we all want to celebrate our amazing physician wives. But, take a minute to remember your own mom. If you can, record your mom reading a book to your children. It will be a gift you and your kids will cherish for a lifetime.
Jayme is a lifelong resident of Oklahoma. He and his wife have 2 children. He spent 14 years working for community banks and then spent 7 years in public relations and marketing for a city government and non-profit organization. In 2016 he decided to stay home to raise his children and support his wife with her career.